It happens. It happens often, in fact. There are so many instances of people who force themselves to feel a certain way even when it’s unreasonable to do so. There are many possible reasons and triggers that contribute to this kind of behavior. It’s always going to be a case to case basis because all people are different. But ultimately, this is always a bad approach to developing feelings for another person. There is no possible way for you to force yourself to feel a certain way for someone. You have to let your feelings go through a very natural course that you shouldn’t force or manipulate at all.
1. You’re technically in the very early stages of your “relationship”.
You’re likely not in love with this person if you’re not even technically dating yet. Just because you think that there’s a possibility for something significant between the two of you to develop into something real doesn’t mean that you should automatically be emotionally investing yourself into it. You need to be pragmatic and maintain a sense of realism here. Don’t let your desperation get the best of you.
2. You know that this person isn’t even your type.
One obvious sign that you’re just forcing yourself to feel things for this person is when this person isn’t even typically the type of person you would be into. Not to say that you should be boxing yourself into a certain type. You should always be willing to go outside of your comfort zone when it comes to dating. But it still doesn’t take away from the probability that you’re just forcing things with someone you wouldn’t even really typically be into.
3. You acknowledge that you are just in love with the idea of falling in love.
Sometimes, there are just some people who are in love with the idea of falling in love. They obsess over romantic comedies and romance novels. They obsess over fairytale endings. They are the ones who really buy into the romanticizing of love. And perhaps you’re one of these people. You are so desperate to experience the love that you’ve read about in books that you start compelling yourself to feel things that you don’t really feel.
4. The time that you spend with one another isn’t necessarily extraordinary.
The one way that you know that you’re just blowing your feelings out of proportion with this person is when the time that you spend together isn’t really extraordinary. In fact, the time that you spend together is plain mediocre. There’s nothing memorable or noteworthy about this individual’s personality and you are just refusing to acknowledge it.
5. You can’t even definitively list down the reasons why you’re so into this person.
You claim that you’re emotionally invested in this person but you aren’t even really able to rationalize it. You can never really accurately rationalize love, but you would always be able to list down the reasons why you love a person – or at the very least, why you are attracted to a person. If you fail to list down these reasons, then it’s probably because there are no real reasons at all.
6. You know that they’re terrible human beings and even more terrible partners.
It’s downright unreasonable for you to be emotionally investing yourself in someone who you know is bad for you. You really know that you’re just forcing things when you acknowledge that this person is a horrible human being, and yet you still claim that you’re developing feelings for them. There’s something inherently wrong with that picture.
7. Your friends tell you that something is just off with this “relationship” that you have.
You shouldn’t be letting your friends dictate how you approach love or relationships. But that doesn’t mean that you should completely be ignoring what they have to say about your love life. It pays to have a third-party perspective on things. Maybe they’re seeing some aspects of your “relationship” that you’re just deliberately choosing to blind yourself to. You have to acknowledge that you have your own blind spots and your friends could potentially point them out to you.
8. You have a tendency to draw drama into your life.
You have a natural inclination towards the dramatic life and as a result, you confuse yourself into feeling certain things that aren’t real. You manufacture feelings and artificial social scenarios out of thin air just to generate some drama in your boring life. Of course, drama is never a good enough reason to force yourself to be emotionally invested in a person.
9. You are desperate to escape the single life.
And lastly, you might just be desperate to escape the single life. This is especially evident for people who have been single for a significant amount of time. They force themselves to be emotionally invested in people just for the sake of getting into a relationship.